I don’t understand corn. I chew it. It’s not like corn is something I want to swallow whole, so why does it always come out looking just like it when it goes in? How come peas don’t come out intact? How come they don’t turn my poop green? How come carrots don’t turn my poop orange? What is it about corn?
And why isn’t shampoo called “hairpoo?”
Comments
12 Comments
Hey, hairpoo is my word…
The skin around corn kernels is pretty strong. They should probably make bullet proof vests out of it.
and how come eating flowers doesn’t improve the smell?
Halbie was right (for once). The kernel can’t be digested by people, hence the corny poo.
Maybe if we had 4 stomachs like cows we could break down the cellulose; even so, corn is pretty low in terms of nutrition.
As for carrots and peas, if you eat enough of them they WILL change the color of your poo. Can’t be any worse than the smell asparagus or garlic imparts to your pee and other bodily fluids.
You want to talk about poop? Don’t get me started on this week’s bathroom trips. I’ve never had a more miserable string of shits in my life. Ugh. I’ll spare you the details, but we’ll just say that it’s been the epitome of unpleasant.
Wow. I should write about poop more often. This is cool!
….And suddenly PuddleMonkey’s blog takes a turn for the vulgar and puerile….
Hey, if it works for dooce, it’ll work for puddles.
Wait, "takes a turn for the vulgar and puerile"? I didn’t know it was ever anything other than that
I was about to say that myself. "Turns? Whataya mean ‘turns’?"
Damn, I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. Sheesh. O.o
You should know me better by now, my little crabbycake.
No More Comments!