It’s still very much a man’s world

I work for a conservative financial services firm, and for as much as I feel I’ve accomplished, I’m still really nothing more than a girl trying in vain to make it in a big boy’s world. During the last six year’s I’ve been with the firm, my job duties as well as the level of responsibility I assume have expanded dramatically. I have, I believe, carved out a position for myself that never existed before with this firm, and I’ve earned the trust of key members of senior management. Where once I was just a dumpy little administrative assistant hoping for a break, I now report to the CEO and the senior executive vice president–the company’s co-founders. I set my own priorities and am responsible for developing programs that effectively describe and promote the organization. Yet I’ve never actually been promoted.

What also chaps my hide is this pervasive attitude among members of senior management that I should be responsible for managing others who are higher up on the food chain than me. This I refuse to do. If you make more money than me, have an office and/or a title that begins with Director, Senior, Vice President, Chief or Executive, I’m not going to be responsible for making sure you’re getting your work done.

The worst problem of all, however, is that I happen to love my job. Clearly, I don’t love the firm too much, and I do believe that the battles I face are particular to women in the office, but I’m torn between gaining invaluable experience and enjoying each day at work (for the most part) and working for folks who simply have no respect for me because I’m female. Consider this, for example: during a conversation with the CEO, I remarked that I would love to return to school and earn my MBA. He laughed and said, “yeah, right.” Meanwhile, I’ve watched at least five of my male colleagues return to school and complete their MBAs–they all earn more money than me, and they all had the flexibility to work fewer hours while attending school. Of course, I don’t begrudge them anything; I just question if I want to continue working for an employer who believes the only motivation I need is a good challenge.

I worry, too, that while I may find an employer who respects and appreciates me, I may not enjoy the work as much, learn as much, or have as much opportunity to effect change as I do now. I simply cannot decide which path I’m more willing to travel.


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