I work for a conservative financial services firm, and for as much as I feel I’ve accomplished, I’m still really nothing more than a girl trying in vain to make it in a big boy’s world. During the last six year’s I’ve been with the firm, my job duties as well as the level of responsibility I assume have expanded dramatically. I have, I believe, carved out a position for myself that never existed before with this firm, and I’ve earned the trust of key members of senior management. Where once I was just a dumpy little administrative assistant hoping for a break, I now report to the CEO and the senior executive vice president–the company’s co-founders. I set my own priorities and am responsible for developing programs that effectively describe and promote the organization. Yet I’ve never actually been promoted.
What also chaps my hide is this pervasive attitude among members of senior management that I should be responsible for managing others who are higher up on the food chain than me. This I refuse to do. If you make more money than me, have an office and/or a title that begins with Director, Senior, Vice President, Chief or Executive, I’m not going to be responsible for making sure you’re getting your work done.
The worst problem of all, however, is that I happen to love my job. Clearly, I don’t love the firm too much, and I do believe that the battles I face are particular to women in the office, but I’m torn between gaining invaluable experience and enjoying each day at work (for the most part) and working for folks who simply have no respect for me because I’m female. Consider this, for example: during a conversation with the CEO, I remarked that I would love to return to school and earn my MBA. He laughed and said, “yeah, right.” Meanwhile, I’ve watched at least five of my male colleagues return to school and complete their MBAs–they all earn more money than me, and they all had the flexibility to work fewer hours while attending school. Of course, I don’t begrudge them anything; I just question if I want to continue working for an employer who believes the only motivation I need is a good challenge.
I worry, too, that while I may find an employer who respects and appreciates me, I may not enjoy the work as much, learn as much, or have as much opportunity to effect change as I do now. I simply cannot decide which path I’m more willing to travel.
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wait.. puddles is dumpy?
There’s no need to put up with that crap. I guarantee you’ll find good work in a good working environment elsewhere. Please people our age change jobs and careers nonstop. Go for it.
Thanks, Mustapha. I’m definitely keeping my eyes and ears open.
And, yes, Beebs. I am dumpy, and damn proud of it!
Pudds, I have to ask you a dog question. Cosmo has been chewing up one of her back paws recently; all the fur is gone at the "knuckles." We give her Advantage once a month, and I haven’t seen any fleas since we started treatment a few months after we got her in September 2004. What do you think I should do?
Hi PM,
I read about your situation and can see how frustrating stuff like this can be. I am not going to presume to understand your work places culture but let me give you a thought and you can judge whether it applies.
In many male oriented businesses, particularly higher end service businesses like finance promotions are not “awarded” so much as they are “won”.
What I mean by this in many places you have to make a positive effort to get a well deserved promotion. You have to ask for it and make a case why you deserve it. You have to “sell” the idea to your boss. Like any other business presentation.
As you pointed out, the situation you are in does seem to befall women in male dominated companies but it may not just be pure discrimination towards you behind it.
You may not be understanding the male rules about getting ahead.
I have worked in several places where no one ever got a raise or promotion unless they asked for one. Depending on the place that request could be as simple as going in and saying “I do a good job and I do more work now so I deserve more pay” to being a lot like a real sales presentation.
There actually is a business logic behind this. Part of being higher up in a business has to do with drive and initiative and part of showing drive and initiative is you making a well reasoned, articulate and confident case that you should be promoted.
This process does tend to favor men because we, as a gender, are more comfortable being forward and tooting our own horns while women have been indoctrinated to be more reserved.
Just a thought.
Good Luck
P
Actually, Pariah, you are absolutely right. Back in December ‘05, I had a conversation with a very influential member of senior management about my position and salary, and he made almost exactly the same comment: I had not made a case for why I deserved a promotion. Believe me, I blew my own horn left and right, and I received many wonderful compliments in return. We also talked in some detail about the large-scale projects that senior management felt I was more than capable of managing. The minute I began discussing my salary/position, however, I was told that I had not proved my value to the firm. On the one hand, my employer tells me that it trusts me and believes in my capabilities, but then it spins around and claims that I’ve not proved my value. I guess I simply don’t have the proper amunition to fight that enemy.
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