PuddleMonkey

Wallowing in self-pity, I’m afraid.

I hate my job so much that I started crying in the shower this morning. In the last three months I’ve become little more than a production artist, which is hardly a good use of my skills, but it’s the politics and games and general office environment that are affecting me the most. I wake up angry, and I leave the office angry–my job is not so much a job as it is one fucking test after another, as if my ability to guess what other people are thinking or need is an indication of how intelligent I am or how well I can perform my job.

I haven’t put serious effort into searching for another job until this past August, but I did have some interviews as far back as last February. Many people have commented that I was one of their “top choices,” but that hasn’t resulted in any job offers. And I hate nothing more than companies/personnel who refuse to return phone calls. I had four interviews with a software company here in Denver that went very well, and I was very confident I would receive an offer. Two weeks passed before I finally attempted to get in touch with the staff recruiter who initially contacted me. I left her a message but did not speak to her until the following week, when I again called and luckily enough caught her at her desk. She sounded rather nervous and provided me with very little information, except to note that the position had been put on hold. Though she promised to call me back with more information by the end of the week, I never heard from her again and can only assume that the position was eventually eliminated. Why is making a simple phone call so hard?

On a more positive note, I will be on vacation from Dec. 20th through January 2nd. Here’s to hoping the time off will provide me with some perspective and allow me to start the new year on more positive footing.