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	<title>PuddleMonkey</title>
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	<link>http://puddlemonkey.com</link>
	<description>Welcome to the jungle, bitches</description>
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		<title>Spam, Spam, Spam</title>
		<link>http://puddlemonkey.com/2010/06/spam-spam-spam/</link>
		<comments>http://puddlemonkey.com/2010/06/spam-spam-spam/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jun 2010 11:43:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Puddlemonkey</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Chicken Scratch]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://puddlemonkey.com/?p=691</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Spammers,
My site gives me the authority to review and accept or reject comments before they are posted for the public, so all your comments are deleted before they ever see the light of day. Stop wasting your time.
]]></description>
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		<title>Animal Control</title>
		<link>http://puddlemonkey.com/2009/10/animal-control/</link>
		<comments>http://puddlemonkey.com/2009/10/animal-control/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Oct 2009 03:52:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Puddlemonkey</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Furry Creatures]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://puddlemonkey.com/?p=643</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My parents used to have a cat named Fang. He earned the name after attacking a German Shepherd in the hallway outside their New York City apartment. He died of natural causes before my parents moved to Denver. Bird made the move, though. Five years later he was killed by two dogs who cornered him along [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Oh, the panniculus!</title>
		<link>http://puddlemonkey.com/2009/09/oh-the-panniculus/</link>
		<comments>http://puddlemonkey.com/2009/09/oh-the-panniculus/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:47:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Puddlemonkey</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[My Fat Ass]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[My mother is a &#8220;fatist.&#8221; She hates fat people.
Okay, &#8220;hate&#8221; may be too strong a description. She&#8217;s certainly never advocated that heavy people enjoy fewer rights than thin folk, but neither can she hide her disgust for anyone who is significantly overweight.
&#8220;You know what the layer of fat that hangs from a obese person&#8217;s stomach is called?&#8221; she [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Things my mother never taught me. Part I</title>
		<link>http://puddlemonkey.com/2009/09/things-my-mother-never-taught-me-part-i/</link>
		<comments>http://puddlemonkey.com/2009/09/things-my-mother-never-taught-me-part-i/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Sep 2009 18:19:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Puddlemonkey</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Chicken Scratch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[autobiography]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://puddlemonkey.com/?p=306</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Throw up in the toilet. After devouring all my Christmas candy in an hour, I woke up later that night clutching my stomach. I was just six years old at the time. I had no idea what was happening to me, but I was compelled to run to the bathroom and let it happen there. My mother should [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>The 800-pound gorilla in the bathroom</title>
		<link>http://puddlemonkey.com/2009/09/the-800-pound-gorilla-in-the-bathroom/</link>
		<comments>http://puddlemonkey.com/2009/09/the-800-pound-gorilla-in-the-bathroom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:06:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Puddlemonkey</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[My Fat Ass]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dieting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exercise]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weight]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weight loss]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://puddlemonkey.com/?p=345</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m avoiding the scale. It&#8217;s sitting under the bathroom sink, and every morning I see it. Every morning I&#8217;m reminded that I should weigh myself. I should be honest with myself. But I can&#8217;t do it. Not yet, anyway. Not right now. This is my 800-pound gorilla. At least it weighs more than I do.
After [...]]]></description>
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